I was asked a few days ago on Twitter: “Would you be so kind to explain what is the need of training her?”
The simple answer is that training is necessary to reinforce expectations until they become second nature. The key to remember is that those expectations must be clear to both persons before training begins.
We are a married couple, new to the D/s lifestyle, with children at home. What works for us will not likely be the same as what works for people in more casual relationships, those with multiple partners, or exploring D/s online. There are certainly some commonalities but each person needs to find what is best for their unique situation.
At the present, we are in that discovery period. I am learning about myself as a Dominant and Pet is doing the same as a submissive. We’re sharing our needs and wants. We’re discussing what works and what does not. Because we are in a committed, monogamous relationship, there is no ‘Sorry, I don’t think we’re a good match’ option. Thus, we proceed slowly, finding a common ground that is fulfilling for both of us. When those mutual expectations are established, our actual training will begin.
On the topic of how to train a submissive, volumes have been written by people with much more experience than myself. A Google search will keep you busy reading for days and I’ve linked to several popular books on the topic. I don’t consider myself an expert by any means or pretend to have all the answers. I can only share our experiences and hope that others might benefit from reading them. Just remember that there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution. Learn, adapt, and grow together.