The last few days have been interesting to say the least. Pet and I have been dealing with several issues with the children, school, and our crazy schedules in general. On top of that, she had sinus problems and I have been exhausted. In short, what was supposed to be the beginning of her training wound up a train wreck. We’ve both allowed ourselves to be distracted, put our needs last, and suffered for it.
We talked this morning, albeit through instant messaging, about where we stand. She felt I was stepping out of my dominant role. I felt that she was having second thoughts about her submissiveness. In the end, we found common ground. Neither of us are happy with the recent slip. Neither want to give up the D/s dynamic. Both want to get back on track.
In Pet’s own words, “I want this because its good for us. It’s brought us closer, but if it’s not nurtured and handled correctly it will tear us apart.”
While caring for the children may always be most important, we can’t neglect ourselves completely in the process. Doing so would be a disaster for everyone. There needs to be a workable balance. Tonight, when the children go to bed, we will talk face to face. There is one infraction that needs to be addressed and then we will move forward, together.
This weekend I saw a tweet from @jizzlejohn that rang a bell with me. It read:
“My only regret is that I didn’t find you sooner in my life. But then we both know, that neither of us would have been ready for the other.”
I’ve discussed this very thing several times with Pet. Thirty-odd years ago we were growing up in the same town, attending the same schools, and had many friends in common but never knew each other. It wasn’t till four years ago that we finally met, through those mutual friends. By then, both of us had been through two marriages already. You can ready her story in the ‘Full Circle’ series she is currently writing. My story isn’t nearly as interesting so I won’t go into detail for now. We’ve been married a bit over two years now and are both convinced that we got it right this time.
With our life together going so well, it’s easy to look back and say “I wish we had found each other sooner.” The reality is that a good part of why we work so well together today is because of the past and how it shaped us. We both made mistakes, dealt with poor decisions, and found ourselves in unhealthy situations. In the process, we grew as individuals. We learned from our mistakes and came to terms with why we made those decisions.
Pet and I were two like-minded people fortunate enough to meet at the right time in our lives, recognize the potential, and take a chance. All of the bad times we have been through separately help us to truly appreciate how good we are together. Had our meeting been 20 years ago, things might be quite different. It can be tempting to dwell on the what-if’s but I choose to focus on the present and enjoy each day with my amazing wife.
Even if you already own several styles of nipple clamps as we do, these simple ones are a nice ‘twist’. Bring home a few extra sets of chopsticks from your favorite Chinese place. Add a few small rubber bands and Voilà!
Start with the bands (not too tight) at the ends and slide them closer to the nipple to increase the pressure gradually.
We had quite a bit of fun with these this afternoon and Pet most definitely approved!