Pet and I had a child free night on Friday. Those of you with children at home will understand that an entire evening with no chance of interruption and no need to be quiet is truly a treat. We took full advantage and enjoyed a nice, long training session.
I’m happy to report that she performed remarkably well, beginning by making dinner in her sexiest lingerie. Afterward, I was able to practice tying a chest harness and give her bottom extended attention with my hand, flogger and multiple paddles while she stood restrained. I also used the opportunity to experiment with sensory deprivation. Pet spent an hour on the bed, completely immobilized, with a blindfold and headphones playing while I teased her with various implements. She had no idea what was coming next and was jumping at the slightest touch after nearly an hour of edging. When I allowed her to cum, she did so repeatedly and loudly. My good girl was left a quivering, soaked mess.
Afterwards, we talked about the experience and she fell asleep in my arms with her head on my chest, totally spent. It was a wonderful ending to a perfect evening.
I look forward to reading Pet’s thoughts on the experience in a post of her own soon.
I was asked a few days ago on Twitter: “Would you be so kind to explain what is the need of training her?”
The simple answer is that training is necessary to reinforce expectations until they become second nature. The key to remember is that those expectations must be clear to both persons before training begins.
We are a married couple, new to the D/s lifestyle, with children at home. What works for us will not likely be the same as what works for people in more casual relationships, those with multiple partners, or exploring D/s online. There are certainly some commonalities but each person needs to find what is best for their unique situation.
At the present, we are in that discovery period. I am learning about myself as a Dominant and Pet is doing the same as a submissive. We’re sharing our needs and wants. We’re discussing what works and what does not. Because we are in a committed, monogamous relationship, there is no ‘Sorry, I don’t think we’re a good match’ option. Thus, we proceed slowly, finding a common ground that is fulfilling for both of us. When those mutual expectations are established, our actual training will begin.
On the topic of how to train a submissive, volumes have been written by people with much more experience than myself. A Google search will keep you busy reading for days and I’ve linked to several popular books on the topic. I don’t consider myself an expert by any means or pretend to have all the answers. I can only share our experiences and hope that others might benefit from reading them. Just remember that there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution. Learn, adapt, and grow together.
The last few days have been interesting to say the least. Pet and I have been dealing with several issues with the children, school, and our crazy schedules in general. On top of that, she had sinus problems and I have been exhausted. In short, what was supposed to be the beginning of her training wound up a train wreck. We’ve both allowed ourselves to be distracted, put our needs last, and suffered for it.
We talked this morning, albeit through instant messaging, about where we stand. She felt I was stepping out of my dominant role. I felt that she was having second thoughts about her submissiveness. In the end, we found common ground. Neither of us are happy with the recent slip. Neither want to give up the D/s dynamic. Both want to get back on track.
In Pet’s own words, “I want this because its good for us. It’s brought us closer, but if it’s not nurtured and handled correctly it will tear us apart.”
While caring for the children may always be most important, we can’t neglect ourselves completely in the process. Doing so would be a disaster for everyone. There needs to be a workable balance. Tonight, when the children go to bed, we will talk face to face. There is one infraction that needs to be addressed and then we will move forward, together.
I gave Pet her gift when she arrived home on Friday night. We didn’t have much time for training that evening but she looks absolutely beautiful in it. I will say that the lead worked wonderfully to guide her mouth to my cock while she knelt before me. I’m very much looking forward to trying out all the possibilities the new collar will allow.